I’m teaching my eldest child to ride a bike. My wife and I are 90 lessons into homeschooling our girls.
Each of these domains is met with many difficult moments. Sometimes the challenges are getting the right speed and balance on 2.5 wheels, and other times differentiating a lowercase “b” and “d”.
My oldest is bright, but she has a short fuse some days that trigger the response, “I CAN’T!” I stop in those moments and look her in the eyes. I tell her it’s okay not to know how to do something, but let’s say, “I’LL TRY.” I explain to her the differences and similarities between these two responses.
“I can’t” = defeated response + I don’t know how
“I’ll try” = hopeful desire + I don’t know how
Maybe this is too Plato for someone needing Play-Doh, but I think it’s okay to challenge her with higher concepts. After this pep talk, and maybe a few tears, she gets back up and will try again. As weeks pass, it is helpful to revisit an old lesson that caused them difficulty and remind them of how hard it once was. Now there is perspective to show they have grown, and it will give them confidence when taking on the next challenge.
You may have had this thought regarding a job hunt, career change, or a complex project. You are quick to disqualify yourself because of your comparison to others or the number of times you’ve failed in the past. Whatever the case, I encourage you to employ a slightly more optimistic view and tell yourself, “I’ll try, I’ll try again.”