My wife hates sports. At least, that’s what I would have said about her for the past seven years we’ve been married.
“You have too many jerseys.”
“Another football game?”
“You say 2-minute warning, but I know that means 20 minutes?”
“You said it’s 90 minutes. Why are they still playing?”
I have heard these things from her our entire relationship. This past March, I successfully coerced to join me for an Austin FC game with some friends. I’m a Supporters Section season ticket holder and had the group join me there.
Friends, the outing could have gone better. The poor girl had back problems for about two years, and we only recently found out it was a problematic Gall Bladder. Standing for the game was not a win. In my eyes, she would never join me in the love of sports watching.
But I was going about it the wrong way. She told me she would have enjoyed it more if she had a seat and my aid to understand what was going on in the game.
Now it’s October 2022, and she joined me in a seat for Austin FC’s first playoff game. I’m explaining off-sides to her. She asks why everyone is giving the visiting goalkeeper such a hard time for walking toward the ball to burn the clock.
The game goes into PK’s, and she’s standing and smiling at all the right parts of the game. She’s heard enough talk about Driussi and supports the MVP chants because she thinks he’s handsome. We got home, and she showed me an online shopping cart with some Austin FC gear she would like.
I always wanted Lauren to like sports, but I always went about it in the wrong way. I would buy her Buccaneers PJs against her will. I watched Monday, Thursday, and Sunday Night Football to see how my fantasy team was doing. She wanted me to watch the game with her, not just by her. Sharing why I enjoyed the sport and teaching her the ins and outs so we could enjoy it together, instead of forcing her to sit through something just because I wanted to, made all the difference.
Now we have had two Sundays in a row with a seat and two home playoff victories. We joined the neighborhood watch party to see Austin FC take on LAFC for the chance to play in the MLS Cup.
There may be an area of your life where you’re doing the right thing but going about it in the wrong way. Consider a different approach that considers your audience over your assumption of the desired outcome.